Good news?! I have accepted an offer on 11th August. I will be working in IC design. Yea funny enough, it’s not directly related to my academic background, so this feels a bit like a gamble. Since graduating, I’ve gone through a lot of internal struggles, but I guess that’s normal for most people. I have been reflecting on the kind of person t I want to become and the life I want to build throughout this journey. To explain this better, let me break it down into stages.

Stage 1: Family, Security of a stable life

I always had a wide range of interests. I’m not sure if everyone feels the same, but for me, there isn’t just one ideal life or single goal I want to pursue. In fact, I have several dreams and deep down, I know I can’t achieve them all because I can only live once. It’s like standing in front of a basket of chocolates, every flavour looks tempting, but you can only pick one.

After graduating, I had an opportunity to work alongside my dad in construction. It had nothing to do with my studies, but I felt confident I could close the gap and learn. The main reason I considered it seriously was the chance to work with my dad. For me, one of the biggest motivations in life is working toward a goal with the people I love and care about. Plus, the project was highly profitable. Once it was completed, my dad could retire, my brother’s study loan would be paid off. I’d still be young, with both financial security and the freedom to explore new opportunities.

Unfortunately, the project didn’t turn out as planned. It ended up being a flop. After that, I had to start searching for a job again, a whole year later. I’m still not sure whether to see this as a good or bad thing, but one thing is certain that losing that opportunity pushed me out of my comfort zone and forced me to rethink my life and what I truly want to move forward.

Stage 2: Money? Lifestyle?

After a year, I was back to job hunting. Looking back, I think I’ve grown a lot during that time or maybe out of desperation too. I noticed, if I managed to make it to the physical interview stage (the ones not handled by AI), I almost always secured an offer. The painful part was that for the positions I really wanted, I didn’t even get the chance to interview.

Unfortunately, most of the offers I received had little to do with fluids or aircraft, even for R&D roles. I always thought I would enjoy design work, but when I finally got those offers, I felt… depressed. I started chasing higher salaries just to compensate for that sense of loss. On top of that, the work culture in Malaysia local companies can be extremely toxic and heavily overtime oriented. Knowing I’d have to live like that made me feel even more drained. At some point, I realised that chasing higher pay alone won’t make me happy. Working in a job I dislike would eventually strip away my personality piece by piece, and that would affect my relationships with the people I care about. That’s a price I can’t afford, not to mentioned that that's just 1 or 2k increment in monthly income. My 青春 to build the relationships definitely worth more than that!

Stage 3: Passion? What I am good at?

Realising all this actually made me feel even more depressed, because I had to admit that, at least in the near future, I probably wouldn’t land a job directly related to my degree. After a year-long gap, time was no longer on my side. I knew I had to make some compromises.

First, I considered applying for technician roles. Sure, it would mean losing a few years of career progression, but at least I’d get to work on things I genuinely enjoy. Since working in Southeast Asia often means sacrificing work-life balance, I figured I might as well spend those hours doing something I’m passionate about.

Second, I started applying for jobs outside my area of expertise. I’ve always known I’m strong in logical thinking, and I enjoy tasks where I can just potato in front of a computer and solve problems like CFD, data analysis, and script automation. So, I began targeting entry-level roles and training programs that fit those traits: data analyst positions, software development, and similar paths.

That’s how I ended up in IC design. Honestly, I do find the field interesting, and I have some foundational knowledge from my engineering background. Still, I know the year ahead will be tough especially since I’ll need to secure another job after this one-year contract ends. But hey, it’s time to get my lazy ass up and make it happen. That’s the whole point of this post anyway to motivate myself, haha.